Jorts for Fall, Two Ways

Outfit 1: Blazer (Zara, love this striped blazer for Fall, too), Blouse (Zara, similar here), Shorts (Forever 21 (cost like no dollars srsly), similar here), Shoes (Keds, similar here), Necklace (Dogeared), Bracelets (assorted Nadri), Watch (Marc by Marc Jacobs)
Outfit 2: Blazer (Forever 21, similar here), Blouse (J.Crew, similar here), Shorts (Forever 21, similar here), Shoes (Zara, similar here and here), Necklaces (H&M - old, similar here, and Dogeared)

Because we all want to wear denim cut-offs year-round, don't we? Or maybe we don't, but maybe we want to at least have the option of wearing them whenever we want (that doesn't sound crazy at all), and maybe that requires us to get a little creative with our jort-wearing exploits. 

What's odd is that while everyone else was flashing their denim-sliced buttcheeks around all summer (and I usually never miss out on an opportunity to flash my butt cheeks), I was for whatever reason uninterested in the three pairs of really-similar-looking-but-obviously-totally-not-the-same-at-all denim cut-offs sitting in my drawer. I was apparently more interested in wearing my mom shorts and my leather skirts than I was in slicing my butt with jean. 

But then as soon as Fashion declared it was time for Fall, or at least time to start dressing like it was Fall, say around early August, I found myself uncannily and suddenly drawn to my denim sausage casings—in particular the $10 pair that I picked up at Forever 21 months ago when I bought them because they were $10. 

And then I started wearing them all kyna ways. I wore them out to a Shabu dinner with head-to-toe black everything else, and thought, "I can totally wear these suckers at night." I wore them to work (on a Friday, which means anything goes right?) with a giant blazer and a pair of pointy-toed flats and thought, "Suckers! I can totally wear these to the office, too." And then, knowing what I wanted to know before I even knew that I wanted to know it, Leandra Medine prophetically espoused and demonstrated the wonders of, and the many ways in which you can wear, many different kinds of denim cut-offs. 

Which only fueled my acute obsession with them that much more, and also inspired me to do a little blog dance about how one could—if they so chose—wear the same pair of shorts TWO DIFFERENT WAYS, and maybe even at two different times of day(!). This is earth-shattering shit. Brace yourselves.

If one were to approach this flatly, I suppose the first iteration could be classified as a "Day" look, and the second a "Night" look. But I feel like the outfits—or perhaps, the denim cut-offs—can be understood in a more specifically contextual way. The first look is a somewhat casual endeavor (see: laceless eyelet tennis shoes), while still being put together enough to distinguish it on the spectrum from the bikini top/flip-flop situation where in most cases the accompanying denim-shorts are not even buttoned (the "spectrum" being the Denim Cut-Off Spectrum obviously). It's the blazer that primarily does this, and to a lesser extent the button-down blouse—both typically tools of a more dressed up affair, in which business (bizness?) may or may not be taking place.

The second look is decidedly more shmancy, despite the fact that I am still donning said denim sausage casings, and it's primarily three things that contribute to the shamnce. 1) Color: sticking to all black for every other garment included in the outfit goes a long way to step up those jorts. 2) Textures/Materials: when embarking on a monochromatic adventure, it's always important to play with and layer various textures of the given color. And in this case, the textures are those that are typically more "luxe" i.e. sequins and suede. 3) My Black Sequinned Blouse: I think this gets to be a reason for the shamncy-ness all on its own. (And maybe 3b is "Rhinestones.")

So wear your denim cut-offs whenever, wherever, and however you damn well please. Because you can! And because it might temporarily make things more interesting when you're feeling like you might need to make things more interesting. I think come Winter, I will be donning them with a pair of tights, booties, and a flannel shirt, and calling myself "Six."

Maybe He Thinks I Stole His Shirt...

Shirt (H&M Men's, similar here), Trousers (Wayf via Nordstrom, similar here), Shoes (Asos - old, similar here), Necklace (Dogeared), Bracelets (Nadri), Watch (Marc by Marc Jacobs)

When it comes to fashion, I am a greedy biatch...in the sense that I have an insatiable appetite for it. I simply can not consume enough of it, no matter what form my consumption takes (i.e. purchasing, reading, seeing, browsing, wearing, talking, touching, dreaming (both day and night), smelling...the usual). In fact, I, like many other style obsessed 20-somethings, am a Hungry, Hungry Fashion Hippo. Indeed, it is a gluttonous affair. Except of course when I am thumbing through a magazine staring at Cara Delevigne's legs...then, after about 5 minutes of mushbrained ogling, I throw my magazine frizbee style at the nearest wall. Then, I've had enough. But that's beside the point.

So when I find myself at a frustrating crossroads where I feel like I simply can't get enough, when I need something else, something more, even if only temporarily, I head to the Men's Department—digitally, physically, philosophically, and otherwise.

Now I am no Neil Armstrong here (wrong use of this reference probably); I'm not blazing any trails. Leandra Medine has built an entire empire on man repelling, often with the exployment of actual men's clothing, always looking chic and slightly goofy like I wish I could. And hello, Marlene Dietrich was fetishizing this very act of appropriation way before any of us yo-yos ever started lazily wearing our boyfreinds' shirts with some sort of purpose and our noses in the air.

With the boyish trends of 90s self presentation running rampant this fall (and apparently all over the Spring/Summer '14 collections, too!*), I was inspired to rummage through my collection of men's pieces of which I have a few (note: "my collection of men's pieces" does not mean, "my boyfriend's closet," though the man does have some rather nice duds, and I'm thinking I might steal one of his ties soon). This shirt I got free and clear and not from a boyfriend but from a clothing swap** last year from my friend Rose, who had concluded along with her roommate at the time, that she had absolutely no idea what man this shirt belonged to, and that it had probably been hanging in her closet since she moved in. SCORE! (I washed it obviously.) Which also probably makes it a lucky shirt since it was probably there as a result of someone getting lucky, right?! Sure.

And there is something inherently sexy about wearing a man's shirt, isn't there? At least maybe in a cliché Rom-Com scene kinda of a way, where Protagonista emerges from the bedroom of Handsome's apartment, swimming in Handsome's dress shirt from the evening before, touseled hair, perfect face, leggy and squinting into the morning, awash in a post-coital haze. "OH GOODNESS I just couldn't find a shred of my clothing anywhere because of the carnivorous nature in which you derobed me last night so I totally had to throw on the sweaty button-down you were wearing yesterday and only half button it and in all the wrong places too because I have simply lost all fine motor skill capacities from the limb-numbing sex we had. Good morning!" Sure. But maybe what makes it sexy is the fact that I think women tend to look better in men's dress shirts than men often do (pectorals aside), and that brand of gender-dress-shattering subversion is HOT. 

In any case, the sort-of point is that if you ever find yourself in need of some fresh food to "feed the fashion beast" as it were (the beast being you, sorry), turn your attention toward the Men's Department, or your boyfriend's closet.


*So far.
**These are the best kept not-secrets of my social and sartorial lives and are a perennial source of unhinged joy, complete with those bouts of laughter where you laugh so hard and so continually that you are choked with silence and vibrating while doing so. Highly recommended. 

Taking a Cue from TTH...And S&M

Blazer (Zara - old, similar here), Dress (Tinley Road via Piperlime - old, similar here and here), Shoes (Zara - big time on sale now, similar here and here), Necklace (Nadri via Nordstrom, similar here) 

Wearing leather is always fun, but wearing leather, lace-up heels, and spikes sounds a lot more fun, doesn't it? 

It is.

Taylor Tomasi Hill, artistic director of Moda Operandi, street style slayer and crimson-haired fashion fairy, is a consistent and delightful source of stylistic inspiration for ladies far and wide (myself included). And this outfit of hers in particular managed to carve out a space in the nether regions of my mind and camp out in that spot since I first saw her in this look. So it was only a matter of time before some version of it made its way out of my subconscious and into my outfit rotation.

Only I took an ever-so-slightly more Star-Trek-the-Next-Generation-meets-S&M-mistress approach with this shoulder-padded, spike-bedazzled blazer. Wearing an outfit that is comprised of a few nods to dominatrix fashion during the daytime (and out in public) is easier than you may think, if you're into that kind of thing.

The important thing to remember is to not go over the top with it. There's a fine line between stylish so-and-so and BDSM streetwalker. Sure the leather dress is, well, leather, but the silhouette is clean and classic (a shift dress is one of the most flattering and versatile pieces a woman can own in any fabric), and even a tad sweet. And sure, the blazer is in fact spiked, but it's only a fraction of the whole piece that is armed and dangerous, and the cut of the blazer itself is slim and flattering, clean lines in a classic black with nary another spike in sight anywhere else. And the shoes, well the shoes are where you can do your thing, and that's not to say that these are necessarily ho-y—they're involved and eye-catching while still being straight-forward and chic—but it's on your feet where I feel like you have free reign to be a little bit more naughty at times and always more out-of-the-box. 

Lastly, the fact that the entire outfit is one color—black at that—played out in different textures, means that you can have a little bit more fun with it. The monochromatic nature of the look keeps things from getting too out of hand, spikes and all, while still making a bold statement. 

I say, use it. The next time you have an intense meeting scheduled with your boss, where you want to, I dunno, demand a raise, or do some heavy lifting in the upward management department, strap in, lace up, slap on some leather, throw on some spikes, and grab your whip.